I have made so many mistakes.
We all have regrets over things we should have said, should not have said. Things we should have done, and things we should not have done.
We all wish that we could have that movie script moments. Where the thoughts that are flowing through our mind, the emotion coursing through our veins is put into the perfect words. Were you are heard, understood and acknowledged.
This does not happen.
Instead we get muffed meanings, stunned silence and regrets.
The first time this happened, tears were streaming from my eyes. Neurons were firing a million tiny deaths and I felt as if the world had grown dark. I was 18 with my whole life a head of me yet I could not see past the pain. It reeked of misery and felt like an endless and boundless void.
I got over it... until I ran into her again.
This time I rehearsed the wrong speech, sounding arrogant and boastful. The emotion that was still so fresh and strong was quickly shoved under a mask of machismo.
It back fired.
12 years later I still wish I could take those words back. Scream I miss you, I want to be with you. let me love you. Instead my last memory of you face was a blank see you around.
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